I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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