More tranny stories later!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
