Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She bit a glass in half.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
