Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
love makes seman taste better
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
