take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
