Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
