I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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