I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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