On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
