But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
