Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
