Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
