how can u be prego again
you traded sex for a burrito?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think my moral compass just broke
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
