That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
this hospital has no fireball
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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