she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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