Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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