I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
