Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
