sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
