I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
