that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
