i dont even know how to be here
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I enjoy the company of your penis
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
