Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
