I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
