Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
