how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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