The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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