I just cut my nipple shaving
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
