Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
