a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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