The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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