I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
