Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i think my mom watched the whole time
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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