That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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