Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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