is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
How naked do you want me to be?
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