Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize