Even the bartender felt bad for me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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