ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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