How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize