I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
