thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
3 2 1 whiskey
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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