I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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