omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
