So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
