Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
