those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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