apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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