I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
