If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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