Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
