chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
