She's JV to your varsity
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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