This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i've created a new STD.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
