Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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