I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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