Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
