i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
