Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
