you guys were way drunker than both of me
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
