Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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