fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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