I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
