woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
