is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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