hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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