What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
