The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
