Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
