Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
