She's JV to your varsity
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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