I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
