kristin has been a bad kristin
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
