Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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