Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
