So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
