wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
